A couple days ago at an end-of-class party, I found myself tasting some pastries that were (I kid you not) the size of my fist, rather brown, and shaped like rocks. (I know what you’re thinking- “DON’T DO IT!”) They were actually pretty tasty, so I did what any logical person would do: employed my sister to go get me some more. :) As she walked back to our table, she kind of held one up- “These are so big. What’s in them?” She promptly took a bite and looked at it with a disappointed frown. “Oh. It’s empty.”
Do you ever get that feeling? The disappointment that something that could have been rich and full consists only of a superficial shell? Nothing beyond the surface? Lately I’ve been seeing so much of that in friendships among teens, (myself included!) and kind of getting a yearning and vision for something better. Y’all, I admit- I don’t know exactly what it is. Am I being unrealistic? Maybe. I just know that I want something more. Let’s stop the competition Relationships that teen girls have with each other so often seem shallow and inhibited by competition, subtly tinged with comparison. How can girls have any meaningful conversation when insecurities, driving a need to feel prettier or more popular, center discussion together around who has the biggest social circles, who’s emotionally closer to a common friend, or who has the most guys in her sphere or kneeling at her shrine? I’m so tired of listening to and participating in cutting conversation that constantly tries to one-up the other… Y’all, we need to realize that we are each beautifully and wonderfully made! Unique. Different. Precious. God has a plan for each and every one of our lives, and he knew exactly what he was doing when he created us… whether we’re introverted or extraverted. Curly haired or straight. Tall or short. Black or white. Social butterfly or quiet caterpillar. If we can be content and secure in who God made and meant us to be, we don’t have to let that wall or barrier of comparison stand between us and our friends, but can be open and free with each other leading to mutual edification. Let's cut the nonsense! (at least some of it) Even in friendships without this competition factor, so many relationships in my experience waste precious time that God has given us on silly, trivial, and sometimes harmful conversation. How much more could we gain from striving to have genuine, heart friendships with like-minded gals, using our time together to go deeper? Beyond the petty, surface level girl-gab that constantly sits at the level of who-likes-who. Beyond oohing over social media pics, sharing the latest gossip, and shipping the latest couples. Beyond the nonsense. Now obviously, there’s nothing wrong with being silly and having fun- I’m not advocating that every conversation be theological or spiritual or that every minute with friends be spent in prayer. :) God wants us to laugh and have fun together! But true friendships should go beyond the superficial, and avoid ANY of that which seems to brag or encourages comparison. The point is, if we profess to be followers of Christ, our friendships should be built on a common foundation of love for Him, sort of like a genetic code in our DNA that should flow through and affect every interaction. Jude 1 talks about a certain group of people, calling them “scoffers who will follow after their own ungodly desires… the ones who cause divisions, who are worldly and devoid of the Spirit.” Doesn’t that so perfectly describe many of the problems in our friendships? We waste time discussing meaningless trivial pursuits, causing divisions through our comparisons and competition, and giggling over our ungodly and worldly flirtations. But Jude contrasts that group with the “beloved,” who build each other up in their holy faith and pray in the Holy Spirit. Y’all, that’s what I want! A speaker I heard this summer (don’t ask me who, I’ve forgotten his name! :) described a healthy friendship like this: “She knows your heart, she knows who you are in Christ, and she fights for that identity and calling. Being around her makes you love Jesus more.” That’s what I want from my friendships- “Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds!” (Hebrews 10:24) Guys and Gals together- we can do better! Hey look at that- it almost rhymes! Hebrews 10:24 brings up a concept that should also apply to guys’ and girl’ relationships and interactions with each other- how much different would our friendships look if we viewed each person as a brother or sister in Christ, with a unique purpose and calling that we are duty bound (as members of the Body of Christ) to affirm and support? Maybe our conversations would become more than silly comments (sarcastic or otherwise) designed to get a laugh. Maybe our sentences and questions could do something besides flirt and our conversations could go beyond the superficial into our dreams, struggles, and passions. Maybe we could pray for each other, worship together, share testimonies together, and be on fire for Christ together. Maybe we could actually sharpen each other as iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17). At some point, hard work and passion became a less popular commodity than usual… When did apathy become cool? When did laziness get so common? When did the superficial become the most popular? I’m tired of guys saying they do nothing but sleep. It sounds kind of funny when I say it like that, but it’s true! Seeing so many people choose apathy over developing and following their God given passions, and choose flirting over the more difficult (but rewarding) course of genuinely getting to know each unique person that God has created, makes me SO appreciate those who actually live and interact with fire for God. I love meeting and talking to people with substance to their conversation- even just getting to see a hint of this in a guy makes my day! It’s the guy who asks me about my plans for college and then encourages me that God has a plan and will help to direct my paths. It’s the guy who shares his vision for marriage, waiting on God’s direction and timing, with confidence and sincerity. It’s the guy who isn’t too shy or “cool” to share his testimony of what God is doing in his life. The guy who switches youth groups because his own isn’t sincerely passionate in worship. The guy who takes a minute to ask what I need prayer for and then prays for me. The guy who talks about his dream of serving God overseas by helping disabled children. The guy whose genuine excitement about preparing to lead a team in worship all year is infectious. Shout out to you guys- THANK YOU! Thank you for your depth and passion! God has used each of these awesome guys (they truly do exist!) to encourage me, build my faith, and make me love Jesus more. Because ultimately y’all, that’s what our friendships should do. As Christians, our relationships with each other should look different. They should be a testimony to the world of who we are, and what the Body of Christ does. It’s a duty to represent Christ well in our interactions, but more than that it’s a joy to have friendships that are rich and fulfilling. Relationships that have more substance than a hollow pastry. Relationships that go beyond the top layer. Relationships that go deeper.
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AuthorHey, I'm Caelan! I'm a sophomore at Baylor University and love life and the world God has created for us to explore through learning, the arts, and the outdoors. But most of all, I seek to know HIM. Psalm 34:5 says that those who look to God are radiant. I desire to shine the radiance and glory of the Father, for from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. Soli Deo Gloria Archives
November 2019
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