Reflections Across Campus
I praise you God for time to walk, to be, To feel a dappled breeze ‘neath rainbow hues-- From sunny golds and leafy greens and blues Your radiance streams forth for all to see. But eyes alone can’t smell the earthy air Nor hear the heavn’ly peace which flows in song From birds and bells and hearts that sing along Who taste your goodness, rich as honeyed fare. It simmers to a fullness, overflows In timeless rays that drip over the skin; The synthesis of soul and sense is sweet. And my adoring thankfulness just grows For outer joys eclipsed by what’s within Like moons turned red, my Savior soon to meet. A Leaf A leaf Falls, flutters from our “finally” fall, flying From gray skies and ghosty limbs To hit my ridged lip. A start of surprise Scratchy, rough, crustily curled in death Bumping where language bubbles. Language... Mimi ni mwanafunzi na nitakuwa mwalimu Quiero viajar por los mundos I want to flutter, to fly, uniting One place to the next; To hit each ridged lip, curled in death- A start of surprise, a softening; And a slow, small smile spreads. Pearl One face—amidst the rows of desks she’ll grace A chair, just one more figure in her class Of students. Stares and writes, one in a mass, Just tries to keep within her proper place. And yet within, full worlds of color spin! Sparks dart and dive, they lithely dance and dream Through depths half-plumbed. They are, in golden stream, The secrets hid beneath plain eyes and skin. But who will ever toil to see, to take The bookish, quiet girl and roll the dice-- On her such time and energy to stake? Yet she’ll rejoice—first once; again; then thrice! For solitude gives ample chance to make Her Bridegroom’s love her pearl of greatest price.
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A heart that's in pieces, so tattered and torn-
Can such a sore thing lift a song to the Lord? Will even a note rise from under the tears Or will it leave praises til “easier" years? The cry of my soul has so oft been the same "Unite this poor heart to seek only Thy name; A single affection, distracted by none!" For stars are all dim when compared to the Son. So grant eyes to see that, O Lord I now plead; My flesh grabs at others to gratify need They hurt and abandon; I’m lacking anew, For even Thy children cannot replace You. They leave this my heart so confused and in pain Since it yet considers their love to be gain. But Thou art sufficient, an ocean’s supply! They’re only a drop, but in Thee I have LIFE. I often still question my path that you form And ask why I must walk through shadow and storm. But Thy sovereign hand moves in goodness and pow'r So teach me to trust, every day, every hour. One day I’ll look back at the suff'ring endured And praise Thy good plan, for Thy love was so sure. Yet sin would it be should I wait til the end; In faith, rejoice NOW, and have no regret THEN. An act of the mind and a choice of the will, To throw off the chains that entangle me still Forgetting what’s gone and now striving towards light, I choose to obey by God’s grace and His might. So shout, O my soul, pour out praise to thy King! Though mightily heavy I charge thee to sing! A heart that’s in pieces, so tattered and torn, Indeed can give bountiful praise to the Lord! Y’all.
I have been so struck by something. Here’s the deal. Every morning I go to my college dining hall to eat breakfast. I’ll often go with a fresh omelette, maybe pancakes, or my classic cereal choice. Fruit on the side is a given. (Secret, as anyone in my family could tell you, I REALLY enjoy breakfast foods.) I eat it all up and am just SO satisfied as I head off to my 8am’s. (It’s that morning-person power walk; the sun is rising, the world is new, and I now have delicious food in my belly.) But then the oddest thing happens. Just about 3 hours later, I start to feel an ache. Can it be? Surely not. I couldn’t possibly be hungry again after how nice and full I was this morning. I eat lunch, and—wouldn’t ya know—the same thing happens again that evening! “All right, all right, Caelan,” you’re saying. “Hold the phone. Let me get this straight. You’re well into your second semester at Baylor University and the grand mystery of life that you’ve finally grasped is that you get hungry?” Yes. Yep, yes. Bear with me, I am going somewhere with this. I have indeed known this for a long time. But for some reason it has really stuck out to me this month that I can eat a good meal, feel so completely satisfied, and a mere few hours later feel like my stomach is an excavation site. Then the Lord told me why. And do you know what He said? “I am the Bread of Life.” And it hit me like a soccer ball (that’s more original than a ton of bricks, right?). God created our bodies to have a constant neediness. We have the never-ending task of re-filling what has become empty, of replenishing what has run out. Food is life to our bodies, and without the constant consumption of nutrients, we literally would not survive. This is what Christ is to us. The Lord is the Bread of Life, life to our spirit. He alone can give us full satisfaction and completeness; He is our spiritual nutrition, and we feed on Him— His words, His character, His love, His example, His death and resurrection— to have spiritual LIFE! But in calling Himself the Bread of Life, the Lord hit upon the way that He created our bodies: we repeatedly hunger for physical food. We are not satisfied with one meal, but go back again and again. Is this how we are with Christ? Let’s ask ourselves honestly, because one mountaintop experience with Him is not enough. It will not keep our spirit nourished. One Christian conference is not enough; it may be a powerful experience, but the power is not enough to keep our spirit alive. One fresh revelation from God is not enough. What is He? He is bread! We must go back to Him again and again and again. Daily. Hourly. In His word, in our prayer, in the listening of our heart. When the Lord provided manna for the Israelites in the wilderness, what did He tell them? Gather only enough for one day’s portion. If they gathered for the next day, it went bad. Is one morning of the Word enough? Is one conversation with Him enough? Is one day of intimacy with the Lord enough? No! It is immensely satisfying, but the next day it has molded- and God wants to give Himself to us afresh! Oh, that we would hunger for Christ like we hunger for bread. To eat a good meal when you are hungry is a both a need and a pleasure. We need Christ to speak to us afresh each day; we need to feed on His power and example to overcome sin; we need to feed on His love and peace to live lives of constant thanksgiving and joy; we need to feed on His encouragement and advocacy before the Father to resist temptation. But friends, the Lord is more than this. He is a father who longs to give good gifts to His children! The pleasure is that we get to have fellowship with the Lord. The veil has been torn, the Spirit is within us- and we get to come to him again and again and again. This is the Creator of all life, the Lover of your soul; and He wants to speak to you! Realizing that the Lord as my Father wants to speak afresh to me every day completely changed my relationship with Him in his Word and in prayer. I can come to him every day in full confidence and expectation that he wants to give to me of Himself, and when I come to Him like this, I am filled. Let us hunger for the Lord. Let us not ever be satisfied. When our bodies do not feel hungry, this is a sign of illness, and when our spirit doesn’t hunger for the Lord, it is the same, so let us beg the Lord for that hunger. He is our bread of life. We have to keep coming back. Scriptures- John 6:35, Exodus 16, Matthew 7:11, Matthew 27:51, Ephesians 2:18, Luke 1:53 I was driving down highway 45, kind of lost in thought and absent-mindedly admiring the gorgeous sunset in my rear-view mirror, when it hit me. (Does that ever happen to you? It seems like some of my most genius thoughts come at the most random of moments. Like when I’m either eating Cheerios or driving down long highways.)
The thought that hit me was this: Right now isn’t a season of waiting. “Okaaaaay, Caelan…” you might say skeptically, “That’s nice…” No! You don’t get it. This was a really big deal to me. And it was definitely a God thing, because I couldn’t have come up with it by myself. A little context for my crazy thought blurb might be helpful here. :) First, I’m going to have to admit that I’m a hopeless romantic. Maybe it’s just a girl thing. I’m also a big reader, and I’m pretty interested in human behavior type writing. The combination of those traits mean that I have read a LOT of books, websites, and blogs about relationships. And one thing I’ve started to notice is how many Christian relationship authors and bloggers write about… The Season of Waiting [cue dramatic music]. Maybe that’s a bit over the top. But honestly, it’s portrayed that way. I kind of picture it as this gray, fuzzy, low lying cloud, stretching out before and around me. I can’t see through it, I don’t know what’s on the other side, I have no idea how to get through it. All I’ve been told is that I will get through it eventually, and when I do, my Season of Waiting will be joyously over, and I’ll get experience whatever happy Thing it is I’ve been waiting FOR. I get the impression that in this Season of Waiting, Christian women ought to be quiet, heroic, and persevering, never complaining, drying our tears in private and pushing through with calm patience. We are told to “find joy” in our season of waiting, and “lean on God” in our season of waiting, and “be content” in our season of waiting. But never fear, they say, for at some point it will be OVER! You will be through the never-ending gray cloud and reach your Destination, whatever that is. Right now I’m at a point in my life that many would call a season of waiting. I’ve felt it myself. Waiting for a clear direction for my major. Waiting for my last year of high-school to be over. Waiting to go to college. Waiting for a romantic relationship, waiting for marriage, waiting for life to start, just WAITING. Can you relate? My reaction to all these emotions about the things I so strongly desire and am waiting for is to throw all my feelings at God, a sort of messy, pent-up ball of squishy-ness and poky things. I question him, I cry against how long he’s making me walk through this cloud, I ask him over and over again to give me strength to get through this period of waiting, to give me faith that he knows what he’s doing. (I mean… does God REALLY know better than I do? He does have billions of people to care for, so maybe he’s forgotten that it’s about time he fulfilled that specific dream of mine…) That’s why his words to me as a drove along I-45 were a really big deal. The thing is, if I view the present as a season of waiting, I’ll never live in the abundant life that God has for me RIGHT NOW, at this very moment. In John 10:10 Christ says this: “I have come that they may have life, and have it in all its fullness.” There is NO qualifier after that. If my trust is in Christ, it’s not “life in all its fullness once she starts college.” It’s not “life in all its fullness once she gets starts a romantic relationship.” Y’all, life abundant in him is for the right here, right now. The problem with defining (or even describing!) our lives in terms of that niggly “season of waiting” is that it implies there’s something you’re waiting for. But the thing is, God has not called us to wait, for anything else but him and his kingdom. He calls us to live for him right now, in this moment. RIGHT NOW is my destination, is the ultimate, is the greatest time of my life, because God has things for me to do and see and experience and learn RIGHT NOW. I don’t have to “wait and see” what God’s plans are for me, like it’s some grand mysterious thing that will happen some day, because if I am living and walking in his Spirit, his plan for me IS right now! And y’all, we’re missing it. We’re so caught up in waiting for God to fulfill our dreams and desires, or waiting for those cool things God will do in our future, that we miss the amazing things he wants to do inside of us right now. We’re missing the people he’s putting in our paths to influence. We’re missing the mentors who could be pouring into us. We’re missing the incredible blessings that we write off as small and cliche, like FAMILY. And sunsets. And walks along shady paths, and hugs, and prayer, and intimate times of fellowship with God as he speaks to us and grows us when we humble ourselves before him. We’re so focused on looking for the forest that we miss the trees surrounding us on all sides. Psalm 16:11 tells us that in God’s presence is FULLNESS of joy. So why wait? Why pin our joy on some future hope or event when we can experience it in this moment? We can be growing exponentially in holiness right now, we don’t have to wait until we’re old and doing good supposedly comes easier. We can be rejoicing always, praying continually, and giving thanks in all circumstances right now, walking in God’s will for us (1 Thessalonians 5). We can be living in the unceasing joy of the very presence of God each moment, if we so choose, his light giving radiance to the everyday happenings of our lives HERE and NOW. So maybe it’s time for a change in perspective. I’m not in a season of waiting. I’m right in the center of abundant life. Clearly it's been a while since I've written anything here! I've been fairly busy this year, but after my trip to East Asia this summer, my first trip overseas and my first intentional missions experience, I knew I wanted to share some of what we did there, and ultimately my heart, with my friends. We went to teach English in a cultural exchange camp with a large high-school in Asia. From 9-12 each morning we taught conversational English on topics like Family, Friends, Unconditional Love, Christmas, Easter, and Setting Goals. Each of us was the American leader for a group of about 6 Asian teens with whom we spent nearly all of our time. We worked on activities and had discussions with them in class, using the curriculum lessons to springboard into conversations on their family, past, hobbies, and beliefs. After classes each day, groups would go out to lunch with their American and spend 4-5 hours in the afternoons together- playing games, visiting cultural places around their city, and just generally building relationships and becoming good friends. This was definitely a challenge for me. I am a hard core introvert, naturally more quiet. But here I found myself in a situation where I was in charge of keeping everyone entertained and spending many HOURS each day with a fairly large group of Asian-speaking teens! Needless to say, I was nervous. But thank goodness, God is good. He proved that his grace is sufficient for me, and he provided more energy and inspiration through his Spirit than I could have ever had in my own strength. Despite the difficulty, I loved the time with my students. Getting to know them and letting them immerse me in their culture was such a joy. We played American games that I taught them, and they taught me Asian games as well! We visiting shopping malls and biked around the city. We sang Karaoke in both languages. We visited museums, went to the movies, ate every kind of Asian food under the sun, laughed and teased each other, and just hung out! Getting to experience the culture and a bunch of fun things in it was definitely enjoyable, but through every activity and conversation, our team’s goal and purpose remained at the forefront of our minds. Every minute spent with our students was part of our relational evangelism. We were developing deep and meaningful relationships with our students to show that we loved them and cared about them as people, so that from there we would have a platform and foundation from which to share the gospel and open their eyes to God’s love, a love so infinitely greater than our own. We were always looking for ways to use the class material, discussion questions, or comments our students made to bring conversations to a spiritual level, asking our new friends what they thought about God or Jesus or life after death. The country we worked in is closed to traditional missionary work. It’s a communist country, so the government tells the people what to do and believe- and although their constitution technically allows freedom of religion, in reality, nothing could be further from the truth. The government tells the people that there is no God. From infancy up through middle school, high school, and the university, parents, teachers and authorities drill it into the children that there is no God. Proselytizing is illegal. Outspoken Christians there almost always lose their jobs and reputation, are monitored by the government, and are often taken in for interrogation. Essentially, their religion is loyalty to the state. But that’s what made our trip so amazing. During the class on Easter, a “traditional American holiday” and “just part of the culture,” we were able to talk about Jesus dying on the cross, and do a skit that explained the entire gospel in front of all 60 students! The experience was unbelievable. During lunch with my students afterwards, we were talking about the lesson- and that’s when they informed me that not a single one of them had ever heard a single thing about God, Jesus or the Bible. It cut me to the heart. I have grown up my entire life reading Bible stories and hearing that Jesus loves me and wants to be my friend. But for these kids, it was never a part of their family life or childhood. God really overwhelmed me with how very privileged I am to live in the country and family he has placed me in. He also showed me what an incredible honor it was to be the first one sharing Him with these students, getting to start from the very beginning about him with people who had no preconceived ideas about God like many Americans do. That day I got to share my testimony with my 6 students over lunch, and that really opened the door to start bringing God into nearly every subsequent conversation. After all, God impacts every area of my life! From the beginning, our team leaders emphasized the fact that this trip was not about just making converts. Our leaders encouraged us to “scatter the seeds,” realizing that only God makes them grow, and to see which students were at the place of being ready to receive Christ, while trusting that God was still working even in the hearts of those who were uninterested in what we had to say. In my group, Lion and Tessa were the ones whose hearts God had opened to himself. They asked questions, were curious and open. When I had a more individual time with them to really talk about salvation and what it meant to start a relationship with God, they understood, were able to articulate to me why they wanted it, and prayed to receive Christ into their hearts. I helped them by praying in English, and said they should repeat after me in their own language. When I told this to Tessa she looked up at me, and I will never forget the wonder in her eyes as she said in awe, “God understands MY language?” I will never forget when we told Lion that God and the angels were rejoicing in heaven because of him- he looked at us with indescribable light and joy in his eyes and said, “wow, really???” It was beyond amazing to be used by God in that way to help bring someone to himself; it is such a privilege, and words cannot describe the joy it gave me. From our time in Asia overall, 60 students who have never been exposed to God got to hear the gospel, in a school that would NEVER have allowed that. 14 students actually decided to give their lives to Christ and become his disciples, receiving Asian Bibles, follow-up from Christians nationals, and our fervent daily prayers for them and their growth in Christ as they pursue him in a country hostile to his name. And numerous other seeds were planted in the hearts and minds of the teens there as we loved them well and shared about the most important One in our lives. Who knows what else God has in store for them! He sees the whole picture, and his plan and timing are infinitely greater than our own. He is so good. Being in Asia showed me how very privileged we are in America with democracy and freedom. Those words get thrown around a lot, but I never truly realized their significance and true meaning until I lived for a month in a country where they are non-existent. Our team had to talk in code, using innocuous words for God and Jesus and other spiritual terms. We were not allowed to walk down hallways or streets with Bibles or spiritual papers in view. We were cautioned not to have spiritual conversations with students in the hotel, school, or other buildings because of cameras and recorders. Having worship, or attending a church service, was completely out of the question. A month in those conditions left me hungering to speak and sing and shout about my Savior and Lord! The fact that we can share openly about God here without worrying that the government will drag us in for interrogation is absolutely amazing- and yet we completely take it for granted. God impressed on me that I should be using my freedom here for his kingdom. I shouldn’t be afraid to share my faith with non-believers as I develop relationships with them, and though my current circles are largely Christian, I am praying for opportunities to start friendships at ACC. I want to be intentional, like we were in Asia, about purposefully developing relationships with non-believers, and looking for ways to share with them my love of God and who he is. That’s something that shouldn’t be just in other countries; I want it to be part of my home ministry as well. In addition, Jesus’ call to go and make disciples weighed heavily upon my heart during our trip. Having to leave the country so soon after my students accepted Christ was very difficult. I know that someone will follow up with them, but it’s so, so hard to not be the one discipling them, teaching them more about how to use their Bible and draw closer to God. God spoke to me that although I can’t disciple my Asian students, there ARE people I can be discipling right where I am. I want to be intentional about pursuing this and pouring out into those around me, loving them well and helping them to grow in Christ. My time in East Asia was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. It was so hard, but so worth it; it stretched me out of my comfort zone and grew me in so many areas. It changed me as a person, broadened my horizons, gave me new vision. My prayer is that I would never forget my experiences there, never forget the ways that God has changed me and given me goals for the future and my ministry here at home. I am so beyond thankful to my parents, my financial and prayer supporters, and to God for the opportunity to have gone and experienced the country, the people, and the ministry. It truly was a life-changing adventure. If I get a perfect SAT score and become a National Merit Scholar finalist, but have not love, I’m nothing more than a robotic student, producing and possessing useless facts. If I become a world-renowned concert pianist and can move people to tears with my music, and if I win every speech and debate event in the NCFCA, but have not love, I am nothing. If I lead soul-stirring worship for church groups every week, have a personal quiet time for thirty minutes every night, and go on overseas mission trips, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient when my mom’s hearing loss means I have to repeat something three times, when I have to do my sibling’s chores, and when I have to help my dad with a construction project. Love is kind to friends who spill food in my car or on my clothes, and to my sister who leaves my bathroom a mess. Love is kind to my parents by helping them with the baby when I’d rather read, cooking to give them a break, and cleaning dishes or rooms even when I didn’t make the mess. Love does not envy the family member who can spend as much money as she wants, the vacations my friends get to take to exotic countries, or the girls who are in romantic relationships, neither does it possess any jealousy at all when my siblings get to go to special events. Love does not boast or brag in any way about my test scores, my musical achievements, my possessions, my vacations, the guys I spend time with, the friends I’ve made, the cool places I’ve been, or my spiritual life. Love is not proud- it never exalts myself above other people. It never compares myself with others, patting myself on the back for how “spiritual” I am for not falling into a certain sin. Love is humbling myself next to God’s glory. Love remembers that I am just as sinful as everyone else and that I am only saved by God’s grace. Love remembers that no amount of praying, Bible reading, worship playing, or date-abstaining makes me any more holy or righteous than anyone else. Love does not dishonor others by speaking poorly about my parents to my friends, or joking with my siblings about how annoying a certain friend is, or trash talking my siblings to my friends to get a laugh. Love honors every human being that God has created by speaking value and affirmation into their life at every opportunity. Love is not self-seeking in serving my plate first, getting my own way in an argument, or taking the last dessert. It puts others needs above my own and desires their happiness, always seeking to give, rather than get. It serves others even when I would rather use that time for myself. Love is not easily angered when siblings say mean things, when parents make unfair judgements, or when friends are careless. Love means not snapping or letting my temper rise up when my brother tears my room apart again or my sister takes all the towels out of my bathroom. Love chooses to not let those things anger me. It’s not worth it. Love keeps no record of wrongs. When I’m in an argument, love does NOT bring up a single other wrong thing that person has done to me. Love does not rehash the past, trying to prove how the majority of the time I’ve been in the right. Love does not keep a burning, resenting anger towards a friend weeks or months after they did or said something wrong. Love harbors no grudges, and keeps no ill feelings. Love’s mercies are new every morning. Love does not delight in evil, whether it’s revenge on someone who I feel deserves it or the satisfaction of a sibling taking a punishment that should be my own. Love rejoices in the truth, taking actual, tangible joy when truth is revealed and acted upon, even if that means my sins or secrets are revealed or my reputation is put at risk. Love always protects my siblings from the unkind teasing of others, always trusts that God is good and is working out all things for the good of those who love him, that my parents know and want what’s best for me, that my siblings are telling the truth, and that my friends will fulfill the responsibilities I entrust to them, always hopes for God’s will to be done, for his plan to be accomplished, for relationships with my sisters to grow stronger, and for our family to seek God and declare his name together, and always perseveres in its never-ending determination to do good and show kindness to those around me, even when they don’t deserve it. Love never fails. Now, great SAT scores will be useless once I get into college. Music certificates and trophies collect dust in a box in my laundry room. No one remembers who placed where in what event after the awards ceremony at any given speech and debate tournament. But three important, lasting things do remain: Faith, Hope, and Love. And the greatest of those? Yep, you guessed it. Love. I recently saw an interesting Aerie commercial that featured girls posing daintily in lingerie, while the narrator’s soothing voice in the background commented that Aerie girls “are strong and beautiful,” and that they “don’t need a prince” because “the fairytale has changed.” And honestly, when I glance around our culture today it’s not difficult to spot the strong waves of feminism and independence for women that are molding society.
But in truth, there’s another current that’s still just as strong and just as steady, if not as widely encouraged and publicized, as it used to be: Many young women still have a yearning for the prince who will sweep them off their feet in classic fairytale fashion. I mean, let’s face it y’all- by the time guys get past adolescence, they’re starting to get pretty attractive. I know longing for romance and a relationship before I'm at a marriageable age is something that I struggle with on a daily basis, and from those I’ve spoken with, I know I’m not the only one. Not that these desires are unnatural or wrong- God created us this way! The difficulty comes when we let those thoughts and desires come first in our minds, hearts, and actions; when we let them become an idol valued above God. When I think about why I want so badly to fall in love, to be in a relationship, several things (okay, it's actually a lot of things... :) come to mind: I want to be wanted and desired. I want to be sought out, cherished. I want to be appreciated. I want to be seen as unique. I want someone to be proud of me, to know me. To make time to spend with me just because he enjoys it. To sacrifice other things for me. I want to be chosen. Y’all, God has been showing me that while Jesus isn’t meant to take the place of a husband, and that as a woman I am designed as a relational being with a desire “for my husband” (Genesis 3:16), those innate, essential needs of my heart have been met and fulfilled in Christ! Christ Sees Me as Unique and Beautiful! We all know that we’re created in the image of God, which (in and of itself) is a pretty amazing thing, when you think about it. But Psalm 139 goes even further than that, describing how God wove us together in the womb, and how we are “fearfully and wonderfully made!” Ephesians 2:10 calls us the “workmanship of God.” WOW! The God who paints sunsets with a gorgeous array of colors, shimmering and bursting forth in their glorious brilliance, says that I am wonderfully made! The God who crafted the vivid blues and greens and whites of the Rocky Mountains says I am his workmanship! The God who directed a dazzling display of shimmering stars into place has also woven me together, just the way he wants me! How amazing it is to think that the CREATOR of our universe looks upon me, and calls me beautiful. No human could give a compliment that carries nearly as much weight. Christ Has Pursued Me! When I think about romance and the amount of girls who try to force relationships with everyone they “like,” something that resonates within me is that I want someone who I don’t have to “rope into” a relationship; I want someone who pursues me first, who initiates a relationship because of what they see in me, not because of the verbal manipulation I’ve employed. Christ has done this for me! Romans 5:8 reminds us that even while we were completely uninterested in him, dead in our sins, he reached out and died for us. And the amazing thing is that Christ’s pursuit, his love, is individual to each of us; though he loves the whole world, he has an individual love for me, for Caelan, and an individual love for you. The parable of the lost lamb shows this devotion- though the shepherd had ninety-nine others, he would not stop his relentless pursuit until he found The One (Luke 15). I have met a God who longs to connect with me, to talk to me, to know my heart! I love the way The Message version puts Psalm 23:6- “Your beauty and love chase after me every day of my life.” Christ Sacrificed Everything For Me! More so than any prince in any fairy tale, Christ is the ultimate hero in his love story with his bride, the church! Like Gomer, the prophet Isaiah’s wife who turned from the love of her husband to other lovers, we turned from the God who created us towards sin. And yet his love for every single one of us went so deep that Christ chose to give his own life so that he could have a love relationship with us. He fought the great dragon, took the mortal blow, and then rose VICTORIOUS from the ashes, coming forth to rescue us! To make each and every girl a princess, hard won by his own spilled blood, and more precious to him than diamonds. It’s the best love story of a king who left his holy domain and descended into the dust and ashes of peasants, to woo a servant girl without a single asset to her name. The words of Stuart Townend’s hymn so well express this wondrous event: How deep the father’s love for us How vast beyond all measure That he should give his only son To make a wretch his treasure! Christ Has Chosen Me! That’s the most amazing part of this story. The God of the universe and Maker of the heavens reached down and chose me, appointed me! (John 15:16) “Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes” (Ephesians 1:4). The individual love that God has for me is overwhelming and powerful; it’s so great that it almost can’t be grasped by my finite understanding. But I do know that his love is there, that it’s big, that it’s supernatural, and that it has pursued me relentlessly. It doesn’t take away desires for human relationship- but it does remind me that God is good, that he is competent, and that he fulfills every one of my needs more fully and completely than any guy could or even should be expected to. “The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with singing” (Zephaniah 3:17). How truly great is our God. How deep is his love for us. How much he has given. How fully we are Chosen. A couple days ago at an end-of-class party, I found myself tasting some pastries that were (I kid you not) the size of my fist, rather brown, and shaped like rocks. (I know what you’re thinking- “DON’T DO IT!”) They were actually pretty tasty, so I did what any logical person would do: employed my sister to go get me some more. :) As she walked back to our table, she kind of held one up- “These are so big. What’s in them?” She promptly took a bite and looked at it with a disappointed frown. “Oh. It’s empty.”
Do you ever get that feeling? The disappointment that something that could have been rich and full consists only of a superficial shell? Nothing beyond the surface? Lately I’ve been seeing so much of that in friendships among teens, (myself included!) and kind of getting a yearning and vision for something better. Y’all, I admit- I don’t know exactly what it is. Am I being unrealistic? Maybe. I just know that I want something more. Let’s stop the competition Relationships that teen girls have with each other so often seem shallow and inhibited by competition, subtly tinged with comparison. How can girls have any meaningful conversation when insecurities, driving a need to feel prettier or more popular, center discussion together around who has the biggest social circles, who’s emotionally closer to a common friend, or who has the most guys in her sphere or kneeling at her shrine? I’m so tired of listening to and participating in cutting conversation that constantly tries to one-up the other… Y’all, we need to realize that we are each beautifully and wonderfully made! Unique. Different. Precious. God has a plan for each and every one of our lives, and he knew exactly what he was doing when he created us… whether we’re introverted or extraverted. Curly haired or straight. Tall or short. Black or white. Social butterfly or quiet caterpillar. If we can be content and secure in who God made and meant us to be, we don’t have to let that wall or barrier of comparison stand between us and our friends, but can be open and free with each other leading to mutual edification. Let's cut the nonsense! (at least some of it) Even in friendships without this competition factor, so many relationships in my experience waste precious time that God has given us on silly, trivial, and sometimes harmful conversation. How much more could we gain from striving to have genuine, heart friendships with like-minded gals, using our time together to go deeper? Beyond the petty, surface level girl-gab that constantly sits at the level of who-likes-who. Beyond oohing over social media pics, sharing the latest gossip, and shipping the latest couples. Beyond the nonsense. Now obviously, there’s nothing wrong with being silly and having fun- I’m not advocating that every conversation be theological or spiritual or that every minute with friends be spent in prayer. :) God wants us to laugh and have fun together! But true friendships should go beyond the superficial, and avoid ANY of that which seems to brag or encourages comparison. The point is, if we profess to be followers of Christ, our friendships should be built on a common foundation of love for Him, sort of like a genetic code in our DNA that should flow through and affect every interaction. Jude 1 talks about a certain group of people, calling them “scoffers who will follow after their own ungodly desires… the ones who cause divisions, who are worldly and devoid of the Spirit.” Doesn’t that so perfectly describe many of the problems in our friendships? We waste time discussing meaningless trivial pursuits, causing divisions through our comparisons and competition, and giggling over our ungodly and worldly flirtations. But Jude contrasts that group with the “beloved,” who build each other up in their holy faith and pray in the Holy Spirit. Y’all, that’s what I want! A speaker I heard this summer (don’t ask me who, I’ve forgotten his name! :) described a healthy friendship like this: “She knows your heart, she knows who you are in Christ, and she fights for that identity and calling. Being around her makes you love Jesus more.” That’s what I want from my friendships- “Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds!” (Hebrews 10:24) Guys and Gals together- we can do better! Hey look at that- it almost rhymes! Hebrews 10:24 brings up a concept that should also apply to guys’ and girl’ relationships and interactions with each other- how much different would our friendships look if we viewed each person as a brother or sister in Christ, with a unique purpose and calling that we are duty bound (as members of the Body of Christ) to affirm and support? Maybe our conversations would become more than silly comments (sarcastic or otherwise) designed to get a laugh. Maybe our sentences and questions could do something besides flirt and our conversations could go beyond the superficial into our dreams, struggles, and passions. Maybe we could pray for each other, worship together, share testimonies together, and be on fire for Christ together. Maybe we could actually sharpen each other as iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17). At some point, hard work and passion became a less popular commodity than usual… When did apathy become cool? When did laziness get so common? When did the superficial become the most popular? I’m tired of guys saying they do nothing but sleep. It sounds kind of funny when I say it like that, but it’s true! Seeing so many people choose apathy over developing and following their God given passions, and choose flirting over the more difficult (but rewarding) course of genuinely getting to know each unique person that God has created, makes me SO appreciate those who actually live and interact with fire for God. I love meeting and talking to people with substance to their conversation- even just getting to see a hint of this in a guy makes my day! It’s the guy who asks me about my plans for college and then encourages me that God has a plan and will help to direct my paths. It’s the guy who shares his vision for marriage, waiting on God’s direction and timing, with confidence and sincerity. It’s the guy who isn’t too shy or “cool” to share his testimony of what God is doing in his life. The guy who switches youth groups because his own isn’t sincerely passionate in worship. The guy who takes a minute to ask what I need prayer for and then prays for me. The guy who talks about his dream of serving God overseas by helping disabled children. The guy whose genuine excitement about preparing to lead a team in worship all year is infectious. Shout out to you guys- THANK YOU! Thank you for your depth and passion! God has used each of these awesome guys (they truly do exist!) to encourage me, build my faith, and make me love Jesus more. Because ultimately y’all, that’s what our friendships should do. As Christians, our relationships with each other should look different. They should be a testimony to the world of who we are, and what the Body of Christ does. It’s a duty to represent Christ well in our interactions, but more than that it’s a joy to have friendships that are rich and fulfilling. Relationships that have more substance than a hollow pastry. Relationships that go beyond the top layer. Relationships that go deeper. Have you ever seen one of those sunrises or sunsets when bright yellow rays are just shooting up from the sun and filling the sky? There’s almost a vibrant pulsing as the sun displays it’s gorgeous array of colors- it’s so glorious that you just can’t help but take notice.
That’s kind of what I picture when I think of the word “radiant.” Psalm 34:5 is a verse that’s been on my heart lately- and guess what it says? “Those who look to Him are radiant.” Wow. Can you imagine? My first thought was, “I want that!” And maybe that was born from a desire to be some gorgeously shining super model or something. But seriously, I don’t think anyone would say that they don’t want to be radiant, whatever that looks like. And I don’t pretend to know exactly how that plays out. But I do know one thing: If we want to be radiant, we have to look to Him. As I was thinking and meditating on this verse, I was kind of struck with the language that the Psalmist chose- and I felt 3 pretty big truths that God was revealing through this verse because of the specific words that were put there. 1. Looking to him involves knowledge. It’s a knowledge of who He is, and a knowledge of who we are. I kind of wonder how this verse would sound if it talked about those who look towards God, or in his general direction, rather than right to Him. It would almost be easier that way. Think about it. We all know that person who’s way prettier, way more talented, way more popular, way more mature, et cetera, than ourselves. And honestly, (at least for girls), we don’t want to spend a whole lot of time with that person. We’d rather glance in their general direction and quickly look away, because to be honest, it’s just uncomfortable to compare ourselves to them. How much more so with God! Y’all, we can’t look right to God, face him head on, without being blown away with the knowledge of his goodness. His holiness. His perfection. His righteousness. His might. And in comparison, being blown away with the knowledge of our own complete wretchedness and sin! Isaiah talks about how even our righteous acts are like filthy rags, and they sweep us away like the wind. (Isaiah 64:6). Looking to him means confronting and accepting God’s identity and being, knowing who he is, and realizing who we are in light of that. We can’t look to him without coming to the realization of his character. But praise God, he is more than just a perfect being out there somewhere. 2. Looking to him involves confidence. Isn’t it interesting that the verse refers to those who look to God rather than for Him? A couple days ago I spent nearly 5 minutes searching the house for my mom because (obviously) I didn’t know where she was. There was an uncertainty involved. But looking to God implies a complete confidence in 2 things: First of all that he exists, that he’s there in the first place. That’s a pretty basic truth from scripture. But second of all, it implies confidence that he’s near- something that for me is so much harder to grasp. Sometimes it’s easy for us to start viewing our relationship with the Creator like Michelangelo’s famous painting, The Creation of Adam, where Adam stretches out his finger to God but can’t quite reach him. It can feel like we’re praying, we’re calling, we’re asking, we’re reaching out, but for some reason God isn’t responding- we can’t quite reach him. Y’all, the truth is that God is near to us. We don’t have to struggle to reach him because “…he is not far from any one of us” (Acts 17:27). That’s good news! Our God in heaven has adopted us as his own children, and now we call him “Abba, Father” (Romans 8:15). He LONGS to connect with his children! We can come to him with complete confidence that he loves us, that he is near to us, and that desires to speak with us and hear our voice. We have access to his throne 24/7- he’s never too busy, never too tired. 1 John 5:14 tells us that he hears us. Praise God that he is a good father to his children and we can have the joy of looking to him, rather than searching for him. 3. Looking to him involves trust. This kind of stems from the last two. Once we know who God is, and we’re confident in his presence, we are able to fully trust his love and look to him for leading. Not at him. It’s not that we just see him, and that’s the end of it. We are actively choosing to look to him for our guidance. What does that mean? Sometimes I look to my mom for help with a project. Maybe I look to my dad for advice in a specific situation. I might look to my teacher to explain an assignment, or to my drama director to help me prepare for the show. I could look to my youth pastor to explain the scriptures, or to my soccer coach to evaluate my skills. In all of these situations, I’m putting my trust in a certain person to help me in some way. It’s a similar thing with God, but looking to God is not qualified. The scripture doesn’t say “look to God for comfort” or “look to God for healing” or “look to God for blessing,” although we do all of these things. It says look to God. That’s it. No qualifier. It’s because we don’t look to God for a specific thing, but in all things- in all circumstances. He is all powerful! He is all knowing! He is all loving! He is totally capable and thus deservers our total trust. I look to God in all things because I know him- I know he knows the end from the beginning, I am confident in his love for me, and I trust his plan. I make mistakes- He never does. And that’s what it all comes down to. When we look to God, it involves a knowledge of his total supremacy and transcendence, but also a confidence that he’s near, because he loves us- and an absolute trust in his ability and goodness. And when we have those things, when every aspect of our life is touched by our knowledge of God, our confidence in his love, and our trust in his plan- Y’all, that’s when we’ll be radiant. |
AuthorHey, I'm Caelan! I'm a sophomore at Baylor University and love life and the world God has created for us to explore through learning, the arts, and the outdoors. But most of all, I seek to know HIM. Psalm 34:5 says that those who look to God are radiant. I desire to shine the radiance and glory of the Father, for from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. Soli Deo Gloria Archives
November 2019
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